Structure, Ritual and Protocol (by Mysteri)

Over the course of the last few years, structure, ritual and protocol have become three different entities. Structure is for most relationships, a foundation in which to continue to build upon where ritual has become something of an unsaid rule, and protocol a general sense of ambiance and need that can be directed based on the time and place. I for one, find myself putting myself into a ritualistic pattern without much discussion and it all just seems to fall in line. However, in that, there has been much variation in differences between the ritual, structure and protocol aspects of the relationships.

Structure

The structure of a relationship, especially one of a power exchange is the duty of both the Dominate and the submissive. Most of it created and learned over a course of time to implement and continue to build the foundation in which the relationship will work for those that are involved. Most everything and anything can be the material in which that relationship is built upon. From the standard limits to even the way the submissive grooms herself for him/her, that is established early on and should continue to be re-evaluated as time progresses in order to grow and become stronger. We all know that life throw's us curve balls, family, careers, and even health problems can produce hurdles and if that structure is too rigid, then obviously the hurdle cannot be overcome without watching the structure of the relationship completely collapse.

I was given an analogy years ago that I, to this day, have used when teaching and mentoring those who come to me..."Which is stronger, the Willow or the Oak? The Oak, standing strong with it's unforgiving base and branches will eventually find a force that will over take it, snapping it like a twig and uprooting it's structure, where the Willow, even in the strongest of winds, allows it's base and wisps of branches flow naturally and with some give to survive and see another day." The structure, even though it is strong, must have some give and flow and it can only be built by those who are involved in order to give the strength and the 'give' where is most needed.

Ritual

Dominates are keen to addiction training. Even myself in a course of time, will put the submissive into a ritual in which they feel themselves thinking of me at least once a day or more, depending on that individual. I have put them in a pattern of life that they will learn to hold dear to their hearts and give them a positive element in which they can look forward to. Addiction training is not just a way to stroke the Dominate ego though. I find it carries over quite well in the realm of every day activities and helps give the guidance and yes... even structure, to the submissive in their daily tasks that carry them through a successful and consistent lifestyle.

Dominates and submissives do crave that ritual with their significant other, mostly as it is a means of building a strong bond. There are times where a ritual, no matter how small it is, does get overlooked due to those nasty and uncontrollable situations that arrive invading our time, but again, I refer to the the "Willow and Oak" analogy. Be sure to be able to bend with the needs and timing, and you will survive another day to move forward. The challenge is always finding unusual and creative rituals that will enhance even the oldest of relationships and encourage the growth of the new ones.

Protocol

We hear this term used quite often, and in some circles, they are "High Protocol." Just as our relationships as Master/slave, Dominate/submissive, Top/bottom are not without constraints, protocol is also one that should be implemented in the right setting at the right time. Just as the lifestyle is geared for the people that are in it and there are no definite definition of who does what in each situation, the term "Protocol" I believe can be also seen as relative.

In most circles though, protocol rules and stipulations are something to be learned and enjoyed by those that enjoy them. I, for one, am not always a "High Protocol" individual, and only implement that wish when attending social events that I believe warrant such a standard. For the most part, I believe it is exhausting for both individuals to keep that protocol intensity all the time and expect the either you or your partner to hit the right mind-set. There is a time and place for protocol, no matter how subtle though. The protocol feeds the need of structure and respect that ultimately can be rewarding to both sides of the exchange.

Structure, ritual and protocol all come in balances. Where you might lack in one, might be made up in another, and ultimately when you are unable to act on those three entities, I am absolutely sure that you will find time to make up for it. A ying to your yang for what life has been built on. Some may find where the bad is overwhelming them... their good may come to them in many forms, and where the time with your significant other may not be overwhelmingly abundant, make sure to take advantage of the time you do have. I live life as I am sure others do, it is quality... not quantity.

Until next time... Thanks for reading..

Mysteri