Empowerment - Where I am Led (by Julala)

Empowerment....this is an interesting one.

What does empowerment actually mean?  Well as usual in the things we discuss in D/s this word "empowerment" has so many different definitions you could write a list as long as your arm and none would be the same.  Empowerment is actually an old word that has been given new meanings throughout modern history.

To be honest....On the face of it, I have a problem with using the word empowered and empowerment being used in the context of D/s [usual with submissives] and I will explain why.

This is one definition of empowerment offered by [cough] wikipedia:

Sociological empowerment often addresses members of groups that social discrimination processes have excluded from decision-making processes through - for example - discrimination based on disability, race, ethnicity, religion, or gender. Empowerment as a methodology is often associated with feminism.

"Marginalized" refers to the overt or covert trends within societies whereby those perceived as lacking desirable traits or deviating from the group norms tend to be excluded by wider society and ostracized as undesirables.

Sometimes groups are marginalized by society at large, but governments are often unwitting or enthusiastic participants. This Act made it illegal to restrict access to schools and public places based on race. Equal opportunity laws which actively oppose such marginalization, allow increased empowerment to occur. They are also a symptom of minorities' and women's empowerment through lobbying. 

Marginalized people who lack self-sufficiency become, at a minimum, dependent on charity, or welfare. They lose their self-confidence because they cannot be fully self-supporting. The opportunities denied them also deprive them of the pride of accomplishment which others, who have those opportunities, can develop for themselves. This in turn can lead to psychological, social and even mental health problems. 

Empowerment is then the process of obtaining these basic opportunities for marginalized people, either directly by those people, or through the help of non-marginalized others who share their own access to these opportunities. It also includes actively thwarting attempts to deny those opportunities. Empowerment also includes encouraging, and developing the skills for, self-sufficiency, with a focus on eliminating the future need for charity or welfare in the individuals of the group. This process can be difficult to start and to implement effectively.

O.o

Quite frankly, as a submissive, I feel a tad offended to think that I should be an "empowered submissive".  Because that implies that I am marginalised, not self-sufficient and in need of help to achieve things that others can achieve normally.  Um...the phrase in my mind begins with "F" and ends in "that!"

However.....

Have you noticed how quickly people become offended in the D/s and BDSM scene?  Did you see how I became offended by just one definition of a simple word?

Let's stop there....and input some more data to the computational bwain.

/end emotional response
/start open mind and wider understanding

Let us consider some basic definitions:

em·pow·er (m-pour)
tr.v. em·pow·ered, em·pow·er·ing, em·pow·ers
1. To invest with power, especially legal power or official authority.
2. To equip or supply with an ability; enable:

or

[with object and infinitive]

1. give (someone) the authority or power to do something:members are empowered to audit the accounts of limited companies
2. [with object] make (someone) stronger and more confident, especially in controlling their life and claiming their right

To invest with power especially authority. Hmmm....wait a minute....this sounds like something that that might fit within the Power Exchange context.

To equip or supply with an ability....yes...we value learning and growth as part of any relationship.....

To make someone stronger and more confident....ok...I can see how that could work in D/s for both Dominant and submissive....

I often find when I am faced with terminology and semantics in D/s and BDSM in general - a little reflection on literary terms can sometimes help (not always).  Over the years people and communities adapt definitions, create new definitions, and then often these new definitions are thrown around with a sense of authenticity.  I see this a lot in BDSM and wider kink communities.  Actually this happens everywhere.

My thoughts are this: empowerment can be achieved by seeking information, gathering evidence and making informed decisions and opinions.  For me....empowerment is something that is equally gained from oneself, as much as from any Dominant, submissive, community, mentor or friend.

Also, I believe that empowerment can be found as much in acceptance, patience, compassion and understanding as it can in learning, change, strength and confidence.  Consider this and read an interesting writing by RavenK (Fetlife login required).

So...your thoughts on empowerment.  Please do come and share on Monday (15th July) at 12pm SLT at the Temple of Discussion on Respect sim. Discussion is voice led but text also very welcome. Everyone welcome.

These Monday discussions are loosely using the service exploration workbook "Where I am Led" by Christina Parker as a point of reference. You do not need to have read or even seen the book to fully participate in the discussion.