Confessions of a Switch #4 (by Dece)

By: Decembredemetra Resident (currently BlaiseyDecembre Resident)

*~* Confession #4 *~*

Switches ARE Switches. Switches are SWITCHES.

Again, this may feel like a cheat confession, or another "Duh" moment, but I feel like this needs to be said after something that I managed to mention in my last blog. Let me quote it so that you know what I'm referring to first:

So often (more often than not, unfortunately) what I see is this: A Switch who is mostly submissive (or even one who isn't) is collared to a Dominant. Now this Dominant knows that the Switch is a Switch and, as such, should know that he/she needs to feel both sides of the D/s equation. But all they see is the submissive side... the side that desires Their Dominance over them... the side that aches and yearns to please them to the best of their ability, and suddenly the Dominant begins to think that having *only* that will make the Switch happy.

One of the most important things to remember when you're dealing with a Switch is that Switches ARE Switches. It is in our nature... it is who we are and what we need. We need to Switch (see Confession #3). Yes, as a collared Switch, we can be happy in serving that Dominant, but we still need to be a Top in certain instances. It's the nature of being a Switch. It's the very basic foundation of who we are in our chosen role. A Switch is just that... a Switch. There is no Dominant that can make us only submissive and no submissive that can make us only Dominant (that's provided that the Switch is *truly* a Switch in the first place).

I believe that sometimes Dominants and submissives do this on purpose, thinking that they are the ones that can break us out of our shell and make us realize what we want. (This goes back to Confession #2 in that some people hold the idea that Switches are just confused and don't know what we truly want. This is, once again, quite the opposite of what is true. We know EXACTLY what we want. *Giggles*) I don't know if it's an ego thing or just that desire to be the one person that someone truly needs to be happy... and I'm sure it's different for different people.

On the other hand, there are times that this forcing to be one way or the other is completely unintentional, perhaps springing from that same desire mentioned earlier: I believe that every human being has that innate desire to want to be the one person that makes someone truly happy. I believe it's human nature. Now, there are those that get involved in poly relationships, but they have developed in their nature to be able to open up and find joy in the fact that they can make multiple people happy and love them just as equally as the others. Poly is a completely different story, but I wanted to mention it because of my statement about human nature. Basically covering my bases.

I really hope this has made sense. If a Switch is truly a Switch, then they need both sides. Period. End of story. A Switch is not a Dominant. A Switch is not a submissive. And so, Confession #4: Switches ARE Switches. Switches are SWITCHES.

In submission, Dominance, service, and love:

Dece