Rather than internally debate the subject telling no one of my self doubts - exuding an air of calm control, a serenity in my mastery of the world about me. :)
I have of course, being an ENTP, come to the D/s Academy blog to thrash this thorny issue out.
As I've already stated, I'm currently reading "A Road Less Traveled" By M Scott Peck. It has been a cathartic experience so far; much questioning, reflecting, and... YUK... self doubt has been brought to the surface.
Of course, Mr Peck, my new best friend, is very reassuring in his observation that pain is the substance of life. It would appear I am very much alive - Yay!
Suffering = Pain * ResistanceBut, you know, it takes two to tango, and I'm finding Estos is only as Dom as the sub he's topping - and as I have come to learn, a sub is only free when they're Dommed, so I feel I am having to pay my subs: Not, generally, in Lindens, but more often in attention. Should I even be bargaining?
Each time Estos is out-topped by a sub I have that moment of self doubt:
(a) Am I a Dom, really?
(b) I'm clearly not a good enough Dom, so how do I get better?
And yet I found Sub classes, too, you know, subby. Dom classes, too, Dommy. It's like they're not nurturing, more developmental.
I'm clearly not suffering enough to make progress.
Anyone got suffering for me?
7 comments:
http://youtu.be/WUXodFgbDfQ
*smiles*
Self-contemplation is probably a good thing if you don't take the results too seriously.
You are right; you are a Dom if the submissive you are domming sees you as one. However just because another submissive does not see that in you, it does not make you less you of Dom.
So perhaps "I am a Dom, therefore I am a Dom".
That is a much better reason for considering youself one than attending classes. But please do still come to class, I am sure teacher will have a gold star to stick in your homework at the end of term!
Julala You've found suffering for me!
BIG HUGS.
I'm still reassured that Zano doesn't need to make me suffer for my Dom-inance
Noooo.... the point is....
you already have the answers....
...suffering is used as a tool to avoid recognising them....because you feel you're perhaps not ready to know the answers yet.....but they are there already....
:o)
/end zen
Aha!
"Don’t be crippled by an inability to accept things."
"But reflecting upon how you have changed and why will be helpful in re-discovering yourself.
Forgive them for the things that they did that hurt you in any way or had a negative impact upon you;
By forgiving someone you are not releasing them from anything….you are releasing yourself.
0.0
wowser, you really know your subject!
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