A lovely Christmas Story

Thanks a lot to Seth and bambi who shared this story. Enjoy!


THE LEGEND OF THE CHRISTMAS SPIDER
(A folk legend from Germany and the Ukraine)

Once upon a time, long ago, a gentle mother was busily cleaning the house for the most wonderful day of the year.... The day on which the Christ child came to bless the house. Not a speck of dust was left. Even the spiders had been banished from their cozy corner in the ceiling to avoid the housewife's busy cleaning. They finally fled to the farthest corner of the attic.

T'was the Christmas eve at last! The tree was decorated and waiting for the children to see it. But the poor spiders were frantic, for they could not see the tree, nor be present for the Christ child's visit. But the oldest and wisest spider suggested that perhaps they could peep through the crack in the door to see him. Silently they crept out of their attic, down the stairs, and across the floor to wait in the crack in the threshold. Suddenly, the door opened a wee bit and quickly the spiders scurried into the room. They must see the tree closely, since their eyes weren't accustomed to the brightness of the room... so the crept all over the tree, up and down, over every branch and twig and saw every one of the pretty things. At last they satisfied themselves completely of the Christmas tree beauty.

But alas!! Everywhere they went they had left their webs, and when the little Christ child came to bless the house he was dismayed. He loved the little spiders, for they were God's creatures too, but he knew the mother, who had trimmed the tree for the little children, wouldn't feel the same, so He touched the webs and they all turned to sparkling, shimmering, silver and gold!

Ever since that time, we have hung tinsel on our Christmas trees, and according to the legend, it has been a custom to include a spider among the decorations on the tree.

Merry Christmas

The time draws near the birth of Christ:
    The moon is hid; the night is still,
    The Christmas bells from hill to hill
Answer each other in the mist.

Four voices of four hamlets round,
    From far and near, on mead and moor,
    Swell out and fail, as if a door
Were shut between me and the sound:

Each voice four changes on the wind,
    That now dilate, and now decrease,
    Peace and good will, good will and peace,
Peace and good will, to all mankind.

(Alfred Lord Tennyson)

D/s Academy Newsletter - Dec 16th to 22nd

Welcome to the D/s Academy Newsletter.  This weekly is intended to give the group a heads up on what's coming for the week and will include some items of interest, such as spotlights on staff and management, the history of the D/s Academy, focuses on selected locations in the sim, group members who are for some reason noteworthy.

**********************************

The House of Scrolls

The D/s Academy offers several locations that are used for events and educational purposes, but are also meant for use by the group both socially and personally.  One of these places is The House of Scrolls.[http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/235/216/25]

It is a lovely small greco-roman style building covered by a roof supported by doric columns.  There are benches around the periphery and a circle pillows for relaxing or group discussions. True to its name, the House of Scrolls has a pair of bookcases.  One bookcase offers nineteen logs of discussions that offer insights into BDSM.  The other bookcase holds nineteen essays that explore a variety of topics from submission to an analysis of Gorean BDSM. 
It is decorated for the Christmas season, warmth from a crackling fireplace, soft carpeting, and a festive Christmas tree.  The House of Scrolls the setting for Serva's weekly Erotic Readings.  The comfortable and cozy space is a perfect compliment to Serva's sultry voice as she reads from a selection of tasteful, intriguing, and arousing erotica.

**********************************

Breaking News:

Julala has done an impressive job of redesigning the Photo Booth.  Her work and some fun demonstration photos can be seen at the D/s Academy Blog.

[http://ds-academy.blogspot.de/2013/12/ds-academy-photo-booth-is-up-and-ready.html] 

The Photo Booth is open 24/7, available to all, and is an exhibitionist's wet dream.  Please feel free to enjoy it and, if so inclined, give regards to Julala for her efforts on our behalf.

**********************************

D/s Academy Events for the coming week:

[https://wwww.google.com/calendar/embed??
src=1rs2kf7jlrpg45cic24vn15qn0@group.calendar.google.com]

Monday December 16, 2013

Noon Monday Munch @ Temple (Julala)   
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21


Tuesday December 17, 2013

1pm D/s Lounge @ Temple (Zano)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21


Wednesday December 18, 2013

8pm BDSM Discussion @ Temple (Genny)      
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Avant/164/18/21


Thursday December 19, 2013

Noon CHRISTMAS PARTY @ Shrine (Mirjam & DJ Nikos)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/181/208/26

8pm Serva's Erotic Reading @ House of Scrolls (Serva)
 http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/235/216/25


Friday December 20, 2013

1:30pm Literature & Likes @ PCX (Mirjam & Serva)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Moonspell/93/96/22

 6pm Friday Munch @ Temple (Cy & Lolli)
 http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21




Saturday December 21, 2013

8am Rise'N' Shine Discussion @ Temple (Princessbbygurl)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21

1pm BDSM Discussion @ Temple (Zano)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21





Sunday December 22, 2013

9am Switches R Us @ Temple (Anna)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21

10am Ice Skating Party @ Ice Pond (Jaymie)
 http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/224/225/25

Noon Sunday Social @ Temple (Cy & Lolli)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21

***********************************

A Thumbnail Sketch of the D/s Academy

The D/s Academy has become many things to many people, but at it's heart it is a mission oriented vision.  The over-arching raison d'être is to provide a venue for people interested learning about D/s or expanding an existing interest.  Most people come to D/s and BDSM feeling very lonely, small, and weird.  The surprise of discovering that there are others just the same is almost universal and the D/s Academy aims to facilitate that awakening at the earliest opportunity.  D/s is as much a mind set as it is an activity and as such it carries the potential of causing emotional distress as well as physical trauma.  The main goal of the D/s Academy and the staff is to provide education on how the dynamics of D/s can play out in reality as well as online and to teach skills and awareness to keep particpants harming their partners or themselves.  Mirjam Munro said, "The D/s Academy's work focuses on the content of D/s dynamics, self-awareness within the context of an intimate relationship, the interpersonal aspects of relationships involving D/s dynamics, BDSM techniques and physical and emotional safety."

***********************************

Thank you for reading this week's newsletter.  Questions, suggestions, and comments are welcome and should be directed to Mirjam Munro, Sidius Core, or Cypher (cwynyd).

The Blame Game - are you an "inny" or an "outy"? D/s discussion (by Julala)

So yesterday we had a discussion about blame.  Identifying that they were some of us (myself included to some extent) that can consciously or unconsciously adopt blame, put one's hand up, shoulder the responsibility for something that may or may not have been anything within their control.  Typically apologising for things not of their doing, taking the blame, etc. (for the purposes of this discussion we labelled these people "Innies".  We also identified that there are also people that deflect blame and will happily point the finger to the guilty party....sometimes as a priority above anything else (for the purpose of this discussion we labelled these people "outies".

These are some observations from the discussion:

It was obvious that people are rarely entirely an "inny" or an "outy".  It was certainly highlighted that blame can be given and taken for a multitude of reasons and that providing only two terms such as an "inny" or an "outy" was far too generalised.  It often depended on the circumstance, the people, and other contributing factors such as context and environment as to whether people would take blame or dispense it.

Comments regarding self-blame included:

That self-blaming all the time could actually be considered an arrogant act - a person always making it about themselves, or controlling, attention-seeking or validation-seeking.  A couple of examples were given by members of the discussion including where someone is always apologising for everything and that actually it was driving friends away from them as it became annoying.

Conversely self-blame was suggested as merely a mechanism to move the event on from the blame aspect and on to finding a solution, a time-saving or conflict reduction mechanism.

"I find it's more diplomatic and advantageous for me to accept blame for problems so that I can move things on from there and get the situation sorted out. It's just easier since blame is uncomfortable and people waste a lot of time talking around the edges instead of getting the issue resolved."

It was noted that a tendency to self-blame might also be attributed to a lack of emotional support when growing up as a child and possibly accompanied feelings of low self-worth or low self-esteem.  There were people in the discussion who agreed that their self-blaming tendencies could well be linked to this.

Reference to a cite was offered that suggested self blame could be behavioural or personal/characterological i.e. self blaming for an event/behaviour or self-blaming one's self as a person.  Behavioural self-blame can be seen as a "belief of control" mechanism - e.g. if I am responsible for this event then I have some power to avoid it happening again - if I am not responsible for it and had no control over it then it could happen again.  Again, personal or characterological self-blame was more linked to low self-esteem and low self-worth.

Interestingly though it was also suggested that as children our natural response can be to take the blame - particularly in events such as parents separating or arguing, death or trauma.  Projecting blame on to others was discussed as being a learned response (e.g. siblings).

Comments regarding people who blame others included:

It was identified that there are [Dominants] that will always blame their [submissive] but that this was not exclusive to D/s relationships.  

"It's never their fault cause they never make mistakes."

"in my experience, those D-types who are not really Dominant, but *Domineering* actually, are the ones who are uber-outies. they are the ones that seriously think that they NEVER do something wrong. anything you do as a submissive is your faulty... YOU made him second guess his decisions, YOU distracted him and he forgot something important... well, yeah.. you get the point. :)"

This behaviour from a Dominant was identified as being very hurtful to a submissive/slave.  It was noted at this point that constantly blaming someone for things that are not their doing was actually a form of mental and emotional abuse.

".. it's so awful to live under conditions like that. you seriously end up feel guilty for just existing.... or at least that is what that person is trying to make you feel.....living under these conditions leaves you on edge all the time as you never know what you will be blamed for next..."

"...just my feeling, but a Dom that doesn't take responsibility for absolutely everything is a mess. And, yeah, blame is often just abusive."

"self aggrandizement"

"....feeling of injustice...is sooooo frustrating...and worse when we see it happen to a child or someone we deeply care about"

We wondered whether people that prioritise blame apportion professionally do so also at home....or whether it was the opposite.  We also questioned whether they even knew they were doing it.

"to err is human but to blame someone else shows management potential"

Further discussion points:

It was suggested that those that are in receipt of constant blame from someone end up in therapy....those that do the constant blaming perhaps die earlier from stress.

It was agreed that "blame" as a word/term does tend to carry a very negative feel about it and is often met with defense.  It was discussed that blame was considered quite different to owning mistakes and responsibilities.

The question was asked "Is blame necessary?....do we really need to know who is to blame?" - a couple of examples were used to identify when this can be necessary.  An extreme example of this might be when someone is murdered....identifying who is responsible is important for those remaining to be able to move forward in their grief.

"it depends, I think, Julala....perhaps on how serious the result...eg...a drunk driver kills a pedestrian...and blames the drink....or the reason for being drunk....etc etc etc"

"....We are dealing with people who do not accept personal responsibility, they spend more time blaming others because they cannot deal with looking like they are incompetent in front of others. so i do tend to take the blame for things, simply to move to the solution. But i think that accepting personal responsibility is a sign of being an adult. Many people lack that..."

D/s Academy Newsletter - 12/09 to 12/15

Welcome to the D/s Academy Newsletter.  This weekly is intended to give the group a heads up on what's coming for the week and will include some items of interest, such as spotlights on staff and management, the history of the D/s Academy, focuses on selected locations in the sim, group members who are for some reason noteworthy.

Did you know about........ 

The D/s Academy has many areas all of which are open to the members and their guests for social use.  One area that changes with the seasons is the pond.  At this time of year, it's frozen over and referred to as the Ice Pond [Ice Pond, House of Scrolls (LIbrary) & Eric's & ella's retreat, Respect (223, 220, 24)] .  There is a gazebo, ice skates are provided, and there are skating animations as well both for singles and couples.  Skating parties are hosted weekly through the season by Jaymie Melody (Sundays at 10am SLT).  The D/s Academy, Mirjam, Sid, and Jaymie welcome one and all to enjoy the scintillating snow and ice, the warmth of commeraderie, and the joy of skating.


D/s Academy events for the coming week:

Monday December 9, 2013

Noon Monday Munch @ Temple (Julala)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21
 

Tuesday December 10, 2013

1pm D/s Lounge @ Temple (Zano)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21
 

Wednesday December 11, 2013

8pm BDSM Discussion @ Temple (Genny)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21


Thursday December 12, 2013

Noon Workshop Academy @ House of Scrolls (Marion & Orchid)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/235/216/25

1:30pm Field Trip @ Temple (Jaymie)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21


Friday December 13, 2013

1:30pm Literature & Likes @ PCX (Mirjam & Serva)
 http://slurl.com/secondlife/Moonspell/125/95/22

6pm Friday Munch @ Temple (Cy & Lolli)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21


Saturday December 14, 2013

8am Rise 'N' Shine @ Temple (Princessbbygurl)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21

1pm BDSM Discussion @ Temple (Zano)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21



Sunday December 15, 2013

9am Switches R Us @ Temple (Anna)
http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21

10am Ice Skating Party @ Ice Pond (Jaymie)
http://slurl.com/secondlife/Respect/224/225/25

Noon Sunday Social @ Temple (Cy & Lolli)
 http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21



A Thumbnail Sketch of the D/s Academy

The D/s Academy of today bears little resemblance to it's humble beginnings, though the core values and concepts that were it's foundations remain the same.  The D/s Academy of today is a sprawling estate with several areas and a large group.  In early 2007, it was just the embryo of an idea held by a young and impressionable submissive Second Lifer named Mirjam Munro.  Mirjam began the D/s Academy in the Spring of 2007.  Having recently entered the world of BDSM in RL, she wanted to participate in an affirming and supportive group in SL that could share and express thoughts and ideas related to BDSM in RL.  Unable to find one, Mirjam approached a friend named Adven, owner the "Leather and Lace Island" Sim, who hosted her in a 100 prim skybox.  The "Leather and Lace Island" ended, Adven moved on, and Mirjam found a new home for the D/s Academy in another skybox over a residential sim managed by Dorilys, a woman from Germany and one of Mirjam's best SL friends.  Together, Mirjam, Dori and Mattie, a guy from the UK, became the staff of the D/s Academy.  The trio agreed that quality was better than quantity, so membership was kept to invitation only and Mirjam vetted interested prospects.  The group numbered about 20 in the early days.  By year's end, membership had grown to 100, the staff numbered 5 to 10 at any one time, and each week saw one or two discussions and and educational lecture.  Dori and Mattie retired from SL and Mirjam met Sidius Core in Autumn of 2008.  Sid had been a tenant on one of the earlier sims where the Academy resided and met Mirjam at the Twisted Orchid Club where Mirjam was a dancer.  In time, Sid joined Mirjam as SIM Coowner and Chief Technical Officer.  A third sim owner, named PatrickR, who has since moved on, contributed dramatically to the D/s Academy and much of how it looks and operates owes to his contributions.  Today, nearly six years later, the D/s Academy has many more members and staff, 15 weekly events, it's own sim, but still holds to it's core values: education, support, non-profit (there is no charge for discussions and a portion of the tips to the moderators goes directly to support the sim), and openness ~ the D/s Academy is open and free to all regardless of sexual orientation, avatar shape, or experience level.  Anyone with an interest, an open mind, and a desire to learn is welcome at the D/s Academy.

----------------------------

Thank you for reading the D/s Academy Newsletter.  Any suggestions are welcome and wanted.  Please contact Mirjam Munro, Sidius Core, or Cypher (cwynyd) with any thoughts, comments or suggestions.

D/s Academy Photo Booth is up and ready for December! (by Julala)

 Yup....its time for a new Photo Booth Scene at the D/s academy!

After last month's total filthiness in the laundry room, we have a little bit of decorum this month.....no...wait...who am I kidding.....this month you can totally get your frisky, fetishy and festive selves over to the photo booth at D/s academy to enjoy not just one sex engine on the scene....but 3! Yup as a special Christmas pressie the festive scene is jam packed this month for your photographic (or just pervy) pleasure.

Throw him or her on the dining table amongst all the food and give it to them hard....or get your friends around for a good old festive orgy on the rug (yea....you can thank me later for that one) or get yourself all arty farty musically boinking on the grand piano.

Full sex/bdsm animations for couples, threesomes, foursomes and more. All rather naughty, yes indeed it is.

If you're on Flikr you are welcome to join the Flickr group and add your pics there if you wish or if you email them to dsacademyinsl (at) gmail.com we'll pick out the best and post them on our blog. (or just be selfish and keep them in your sticky scrapbook for your fap fodder.....we know you do that ;o)

Instructions for the menus are provided outside the scene on the wall. Any questions or problems accessing the menus please IM Julala Demina inworld.

Visit the photo booth here: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/240/1…

I wanna see some foody festive frolicks this month you lot! Enjoy and have fun!

Some of the best shots from last month's "Naughtiness in the Laundry Room"

by estos and Darke

by estos and Darke

by estos and Darke

by estos and Darke

by Julala and unnamed helping cast members

by Julala and unnamed burly gentlemen

by Julala and nameless & underpaid cast members

See more pics on the Flickr group

D/s Academy Newsletter - 12/02 to 12/08

Welcome to the D/s Academy Newsletter.  This weekly is intended to give the group a heads up on what's coming for the week and will include some items of interest, such as spotlights on staff and management, the history of the D/s Academy, focuses on selected locations in the sim, group members who are for some reason noteworthy.  If you have any suggestions they are welcome and wanted.

D/s Academy Events for the coming week:

Monday December 2, 2013

Noon Monday Munch @ Temple (Mirjam)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21

1:30pm Field Trip @ Temple (Jaymie)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21
  
Tuesday December 3, 2013

11:30am BDSM Discussion @ Omega (Buster)     
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Avant/164/18/21

 1pm D/s Lounge @ Temple (Zano)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21

8pm Serva's Erotic Reading @ House of Scrolls (Serva)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/235/216/25

Thursday December 5, 2013

Noon Workshop Academy @ House of Scrolls (Marion & Orchid)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/235/216/25

Friday December 6, 2013

 Noon BDSM Discussion @ Omega (Buster)      
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Avant/164/18/21

 1:30pm Literature & Likes @ PCX (Mirjam & Serva)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Avant/164/18/21

 6pm Friday Munch @ Temple (Cy & Lolli)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21

Saturday December 7, 2013

 8am Wake-up with Princess @ Temple (Princessbbygurl)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21

 1pm BDSM Discussion @ Temple (Zano)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21€

Sunday December 8, 2013

 9am Switches R Us @ Temple (Anna)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21

 10am Ice Skating Party @ Ice Pond (Jaymie)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/224/221/24

 Noon Sunday Social @ Temple (Cy & Lolli)
  http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/21


A Thumbnail Sketch of the D/s Academy

The D/s Academy is an ambitious and developing project.  The primary purpose of the D/s Academy is to educate, but it is also a social sim where, it is hoped, the group members will gather to socialize.  The sim hosts the grounds of the D/s Academy proper (the Welcome Pavillion, the Temple of Discussion, the House of Scrolls, the Theatre, the Shrine of Sounds, the Beach, and the Photo Booth), as well as the Foo-skybox dungeon, the Aztec Pyramid Dungeon Labyrinth, a capture roleplay area, an ice-skating pond, and the Sub Haven.
The D/s Academy was created as a place where those with an interest in D/s dynamics can come to share their knowledge and experiences or expose themselves to such in the hopes of broadening the understanding and enjoyment of all involved.  The D/s Academy staff offers a wide range of experience and knowledge crossing the lines between RL and SL. The staff moderate discussions every day to share their knowledge as well as to draw forth the knowledge and experiences of the discussion participants in an effort to create a gestalt or group-think which represents the variety of BDSM lifestyles and the myriad aspects of D/s dynamics.
It is the express goal of the D/s Academy and staff to provide a means of education and expression that enhances the awareness of those who are involved or wish to become involved in D/s with an eye towards exploring the intimacies of the relationships, dynamics, and techniques in a safe, sane, and consensual manner.

-------------------------------------------
Thank you for reading the Newsletter and for participating in the D/s Academy.

Any suggestions for the Newsletter may be forwarded to Mirjam Munro, Sidius Core, or Cypher (cwynyd).

Eyes on the SIM - winter season (by mirjam)

We opened he winter season on our SIM Respect! 

Come and enjoy the atmosphere, have a warm cuddle, chat at the fire with friends, ...

Check out the new ice skating area (see photo). 

Many thanks to ella for the SIM decoration!

Expo with Your photos! (by DSA management)

We are cordially inviting all SL users to take photos on the D/s Academy's SIM in Secondlife.

Go to the photobooth on the SIM, close to the Temple of Discussion, teleport up to the kinky laundry room and have fun shooting pictures!

Don't forget to select "Save to disk" when taking them, else they will go to Your SL inventory only.

Send Your best shots via email to

dsacademyinsl _ at _ gmail.com

and they might soon be uploaded on this blog here.

If You want them on display on the SIM in addition, please save them to Your SL inventory as well and send them to either Julala or Mirjam. The Expo Area will be close to the Temple of Discussion.

Accessibility for discussions at D/s academy (by Julala)

A number of times I have been asked by people I know in real life how they can listen in to our discussions if they don't have a computer fast enough to run Secondlife.  Also, on occasion we've been asked about accessibility for those with hearing or sight impairments attending the discussions.

Firstly, for those who think their computer isn't fast enough to run Secondlife - some solutions:

1.  Whether you use the Secondlife official viewer or a third party viewer there are a number of things that you can do to reduce the amount of memory and graphics requirements (even before logging in), for example:

Choose preferences from the top menu on the viewer before logging in and depending on your viewer choice there are a number of things you can change immediately to reduce memory and cpu usage.

• Reduce Graphics to "low".
• Reduce your draw distance.
• Turn off all shaders.
• Make Terrain detail "low"
• Reduce LOD (Level of Detail)
• Turn off Anistropic filtering
• Slide maximum bandwidth to between 500-1000kbps depending on your Internet connection speed.

For a full set of ways to improve viewer performance visit the SL wiki here: http://community.secondlife.com/t5/English-Knowledge-Base/How-to-improve-Viewer-performance/ta-p/1316923

 2.  On the third party view list there are a number of "thin clients" available - these are slimmed down and are a good alternative for those with slower or older computers.  Many thin client viewers are text-based only, which is fine if the discussion is text only - but our discussions at D/s academy are often voice/text mixed.  However, thankfully there is a thin client with voice capabilities *yeay*.  (please note that you need "voice capabilities" even if you only want to listen)

Radegast is a non-graphical thin client with voice capabilities so you could use this viewer to access and fully engage in one of our (or other) discussions in Secondlife even on the slowest computer.

Make sure you check "install voice pack" from the install menu (its is unchecked by default) if you want to install voice.

You will, of course, need to have created a Secondlife avatar/account at Secondlife.com before you can login.

If you've never been to D/s academy before....how will you find us?  OK.  Once you are logged in to Radegast with your avatar, first search for D/s academy in the places tab of the search tool.  D/s academy is probably the third one in the list - you're looking for "Live, love, lust" etc.  TP there first - the reason you should do this is that when you first login to SL you are likely to arrive at a PG info hub and pasting the slurl of an adult sim into local chat is likely to get you a kick in the ass. 

Once you have teleported to "Respect" sim where the D/s academy lives you can paste the following slurl into the local chat: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/232/169/22 and then click on it in the chat transcript and select Teleport.  This will take you directly to the Temple of Discussion where the discussions generally take place. 

Now - once you've arrived at the Temple of Discussion - you don't want to stand like a dufus at the landing point - especially if more than one use these instructions because you'll all be standing on top of one another like a pile of newbs on a rainy night!  No, no - come have a seat and join us properly: 

Choose the "Objects" tab in Radegast.  Look through the objects that are close to you and look for an objects called "sofa-lay-m-r" or "Propped Sit-M-3" or "z-slouch-1" or such like - these are towels to sit on.  Select one from your list of objects and then choose "Sit on".  Now - if someone is already sat there, chances are you wont be able to sit on it...just try another.   

Ensure that "enable Voice" is checked in the "Voice" tab of Radegast or you will hear nothing.
If you're going to speak, please consider using a headset as this reduces feedback and background noise.  If your mic is left open or is sending an awful racket out to the room you may end up getting ejected.  Don't take it personally - we just don't want our ears to explode.  Just come back and try again. 

You could always do a test run beforehand at Voice Echo Canyon: http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Voice%20Echo%20Canyon/131/126/24 to make sure your voice is working well.

Now - for those that might have hearing or sight impairments - you might be interested to know that Radegast also has text to speech capabilities and speech to text capabilities.  Now - I haven't tried these out so I can't comment on their effectiveness - if you would like to give it a go - please do report back and let us know how it goes!

If other sims would like to adapt this post for their own events - please do - but please link back to this post - cos that's the nice thing to do ;o)

New affiliate of the D/s Academy: PCX Erotic Arts (by Mirjam)

Since the D/s Academy is not only an educational facility in Secondlife, but also a social group of people endulging in BDSM, we are always trying to provide events for social meet-up and for entertainment. Also, we enjoy offering a variety of events of adult interest to our members and support other venues who seem to share our mission and mindset and engage in adult education without intending to gain financial profit.

We are glad to announce that PCX Erotic Arts is now an affiliate of the D/s Academy. To put it in a nutshell, PCX Erotic Arts provides a big library for various topics and an art gallery, both mainly with SL user created content.  Besides, they offer erotic literature readings and some other leisure time events and specials.

 

"PCX Erotic Arts Adult Library was initially created for the Second Life adult community. What started as ‘Post Confidential’, a tell your secrets sim in the Second Life virtual world, PCX Erotic Arts grew to house a library of original erotica,written by and for Second Life library patrons of all races, gender, preferences and avatar types over the adult age of 18. [...]
Material is written and/or provided by people like yourself; writers of all skills and levels, including published works both online and hard copy.  If you have a story you want to share, you can do so through the PCXErotic Arts website under submissions, after registering. You can also submit your story “in-world” through NC. And, if you have a confession you want to share, I can be reached in-world under GiGi Octavia (Serenity30250) for a ‘face to face’ confession, (with or without your identifying information). " (source: http://pcxeroticarts.com)

TUESDAYS:
Serva (PCX staff)  is going to present erotic literature in a reading at the D/s Academy's House of Scrolls every Tuesday at 8 pm SLT.  On November 5th, she is going to read from "The Lady Submits" by Chloe Cox.  Here's the synopsis: "Sometimes a highborn Lady needs to be brought low... It's the decadent, raunchy holiday of Bacchanal, and the Lady Lucrezia Grimaldi cannot find a man to satisfy her. Worse, she's been saddled with the brutish Carlo Castellan as her bodyguard for the last night of Bacchanal. There's only one thing to do: escape to the fabled House of the Severille... The imperious Lady Lucrezia expects to sate herself by dominating some poor house slave. What she gets instead is the harsh touch of a Severille Master who will stop at nothing to make the Lady submit."

FRIDAYS:
Mirjam Munro (D/s Academy staff)  is going to host a discussion on the PCX Sim in SL on Fridays at noon SLT. We'll hear one or two chapters of a D/s related book, professionally presented as a reading by a PCX staff member, then discuss on a subject that the author dealt with in this chapter, bringing in the opinions and experiences of the participants in the discussion. On Nov 8th at noon SLT, we'll start with the book "A Diary of an S&M Romance"  by Dollie Llama and wrap our minds around the needs of submissives. "Diary of an S and M Romance" is the true story of a young widow reclaiming her life in a red-hot world of kinky sex. She's a feminist doing things that many feminists would consider beastly, and loving every second of it." 

The D/s Academy Halloween Feature

1st of November.

The Day of the Dead.

 Social gathering on the SIM PCX Erotic Arts.

DJ Savvy 6pm-8pm SLT.

Costume Contest and Story Reading.

More infos available from Gigi Octavia in SL.

___________________

3rd of November.

No boredom after Halloween.

Foo-Foo Sunday on the SIM Respect.

Scening Fun at 12pm SLT.

Halloween costumes, an old church and playful kinky minds.

More infos available from Tolya Ugajin in SL.

___________________

Fall. 

Colourful nature. 

The park on the SIM Respect.

Chat with good friends.

Read books from the library in the House of Scrolls.
Take Your time for romance and relaxation. 

Sending a submissive into hyperspace (repost)

"Although everyone into the BDSM scene has heard of endorphins, actually very, very few people really understand what they are, how they work, what the "high" is all about and how one can correctly induce the body to produce them. This short primer will answer those questions, and serve as a guide for anyone topping another so that they may successfully send their bottom into a very deep endorphin stupor! (Also known as leaving them in a big puddle of quivering ecstasy!)"

source: http://friskybusinessboutique.com/news/blog/the-endorphin-levels-in-bdsm-a-short-primer-on-sending-a-submissive-into-hyperspace


Read the full article here:
The Endorphin Levels in BDSM - a short primer on sending a submissive into hyperspace

Finding your tribe - finding yourself (by julala)

"One of the most fundamental human needs is the need to belong. Noted psychologist, Abraham Maslow, identified it as one of the five basic needs. We want to be part of a group and to feel loved and accepted by others. That is, we want to be a member of a tribe. A tribe-or a pack, clan, elected family, posse, crew, network, or true friends–is a group of people who share common interests and values and show genuine appreciation and care for each other. 

Your tribe members are those people who accept you just as you are, and who want the very best for you. They make you feel understood, and they encourage you to go after your goals and pursue your dreams. Also, the members of your tribe help you to get through difficult times, and they provide you with a sense of community and support."

http://www.marcandangel.com/2010/08/16/how-to-build-your-tribe-finding-your-people/ 

D/s offers a massive and diverse range of communities willing and happy to gather you into the fold.  We all, at some point, seek community, seek to belong, and feel less alone.  One of the difficulties of finding your tribe in a D/s or BDSM world is that you may not yet know "who" your people are.... maybe you're still in the process of finding yourself....who you are, what you need, what you like, what you want....and so your journey can become somewhat chaotic as you bat between finding yourself and finding your tribe.  Perhaps you sometimes feel like you are bouncing around between understanding yourself, fitting in, feeling isolated, questioning yourself, and so on.  

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?  Which comes first, joining a community to help find yourself or finding yourself in order to identify your community?

People join communities in Second Life and sometimes they'll stay a while...and then they're gone...others stay longer, some return, some don't.  Is it all about finding our tribe in among the discovery of our self? 

What about when you think you've found your tribe and then one individual becomes a barrier in your feeling like you belong there?  

What have your experiences been on your own chaotic journey?  Have you found differences in how it all fits together when you're online and when you're offline?   

Please do come share your thoughts and your experiences today at 12pm SLT (Monday 21st October) at the Temple of Discussion on Respect sim.  Discussion is voice led but text is also welcome.

D/s Academy PHOTOBOOTH! Now open!

Grab your camera and your creativity and head on over to D/s Academy for the new sexy, saucy, spooooky photo booth!

In the spirit of the season, this month's photo booth has a spooky kinkiness all wrapped up in ghostly shenanigans.  Lots of static and animated poses for singles, couples and groups to use....or if you prefer use your own poses to do your own thing.  All creepily positioned within a dark, spooky cemetery to get your creepy creative juices flowing.   Mwhahahahahaha!

Upload your pics to the new Flickr group "D/s academy photobooth" and the best pics will be displayed on the sim next to the Temple.

Don't forget to pick up your free notecard "Simple tips for better SL photos".  Have fun :o)

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Respect/240/119/21

The secret is out - what Mirjam was REALY doing above Respect SIM (by estos)

Welcome fellow readers of the D/s academy blog.  I know you are a curious bunch, unwilling to take what life has to tell you at face value.  Well, I am here to put the record straight.

What was Mirjam REALLY doing up in the sky above respect?  Let me show you - for pictures are worth a thousand words:

I rest, having set up Mir in her elevator

Fully in control I send Mir on her task for taking pictures

Continuing upward

Mir looking lovely in her innocent white outfit

Mir checks white balance

Mir checks aperture and perspectives - I also take off the top of the cage to help with framing the shot

with the roof off, Mir can get pictures without bars

Ooooooh my that is way high

Possibly too high now

The SIM of respect for all to see

Shrine to MarinJenn to the right, theater to the left

Folsom Street Fair

Celebrate kink! On Sunday, September 29th 2013 Folsom Street Fair took place on Folsom Street, San Francisco. It is supposed to be one of the world's largest leather and fetish events with over 400,000 people. Folsom 2013 was the 30th fair.
More info and photos on http://www.FolsomStreetFair.org.

A legal introspective ... (repost)

Mo. man gets 20 years in federal sex slave case

Houston Chronicle
by Bill Draper (AP)

KANSAS CITY, Mo.  — A southwest Missouri man was sentenced to 20 years in federal prison Wednesday for holding a young woman captive as a sex slave for six years.
Edward Bagley initially faced 11 federal charges accusing him of enticing an underage girl to be his sex slave, torturing and mutilating her, and allowing others to watch and participate in the torture sessions. In January, he pleaded guilty to one count of using an interstate facility to entice a minor into illegal sexual conduct.
[,,,]

Read more here:
https://ncsfreedom.org/press/blog/item/mo-man-gets-20-years-in-federal-sex-slave-case.html
(posted there on Sept 12th, 2013)

Five Types of Old Fashioned Marital Spankings (repost)

1. Punishment Spankings

"The husband is the leader and has the authority to make and defend the rules of the home. If he believes his wife is being dishonest, or choosing to disobey or defy him, and that this behavior needs to change, he may choose to punish his wife as a means to modify her behavior. A physical form of punishment like spanking should be agreed upon before it becomes necessary to administer such punishment. The wife must give her consent to a punishment spanking - it is not forced upon her. This consent should be given long before any punishment is ever necessary, and the husband should hold the wife accountable for granting that consent. Punishment spankings tend to be the most painful spankings delivered by the husband, and are usually not commonplace. You are unlikely to find a wife who actually derives pleasure from being punished with a spanking."

A fun-tastic spanking song!
The Wet Spots - Spank My Bottom

2. Tension-Relieving Spankings

"When the tension in a home mounts, it becomes difficult for the husband to lead and the wife to submit. Unresolved tension leads to short tempers, bickering, acts of disrespect and selfishness, and a gradual breakdown of the authority of the husband and submissive state-of-mind of the wife. A husband may choose to address the presence of tension with the physical act of spanking his wife. This often proves more effective than trying to talk through issues when both partners are uptight and stressed out. Stressed out people often struggle to talk about their bottled up feelings, so it makes sense to relieve stress before trying to talk. The physical nature of administering a spanking helps the husband relax in much the same way as taking other exercise might relax him. Going for a jog, however, is usually only beneficial to the runner. The downside of going for a jog (which is certainly a healthy way to exercise) is that it does nothing for enhancing the husband's confidence as the leader in the home. By rather administering a spanking, the husband is helping himself rise to the challenge of leadership (and growing his confidence), unwinding through the physical act of spanking (ask any husband who has delivered a long spanking - it is physically demanding work), while also helping his wife relax. A slow-paced, light to moderately intense spanking may have a similar therapeutic effect for the wife to that experienced when receiving a back massage. A spanking that is more intense and which brings the wife to tears may prove even more relaxing for her. For many women, weeping is an effective way to relieve tension. It may be difficult for a woman to get to the point of weeping on her own, particularly if she has been bracing herself to handle the extra stress for an extended period of time. A long, hard spanking can help a strong, very controlled woman with a high pain-threshold to cry, and ultimately to relax."

3. Refocusing Spankings

"Long work hours, too many commitments, and the general busy-ness of life can distract the husband and wife from their roles in the marriage. The more the husband and wife drift away from the traditional roles, the more generic their roles become. Eventually their non-traditional roles will no longer be distinct. They will share the leadership authority. The focus will shift to equal workloads and equality in bearing responsibility. In time, the marriage will lose a leader, and the sexual chemistry between the partners will fade. Opposites attract, but generic marriage roles produce "similars". The husband becomes a quazi-wife and the wife becomes a semi-husband. A couple that once represented "husband" and "wife" now begins to represent "spouse" and "spouse" (which is definitely a recipe for putting out the sexual fire). When either or both of the spouses recognize that this role drift is happening, a refocusing spanking can be the ideal solution. Such a spanking is not punishment for a naughty wife, and it is not tension-relief for an overworked husband. The couple may be feeling no tension in their relationship. Rather, they may be feeling more distant from each other. A refocusing spanking reminds the husband that he is the leader and that he has the responsibility of authority in the home. It reminds the wife that her role is to submit to her husband, lovingly and respectfully. The intensity of refocusing spankings may vary from one spanking to the next. Refocusing spankings of extended duration are best - they give the couple plenty of time to think about their roles while each partner is acting out a representation of their role: the husband spanks and demonstrates his authority, while the wife submits and accepts the spanking her husband gives her."

4. Maintenance Spankings

"Maintenance spankings are spankings administered at regular intervals. For some couples, these spankings occur daily. Others prefer one maintenance spanking per week, or spankings delivered with much longer intervals. As the name suggests, these spanking help "maintain" the integrity of the marriage roles. Much like refocusing spankings, but perhaps more deliberate and less spontaneous, maintenance spankings help to regularly remind the husband that he is in charge and the wife that she is to submit to the husband. Some couples use the maintenance spankings as an opportunity to address other issues with the result that a punishment spanking may follow a maintenance spanking from time to time. Because maintenance spankings are always scheduled and regular, they can help ensure that couples set aside time to talk and be intimate (important elements for relationship growth)."

5. Fun Spankings

"Purists of the domestic discipline school of thought dissociate pleasure from pain. They believe that spankings are purely for the purpose of punishment and should never be enjoyed by the spanker or the spankee. These folk frown upon fun spankings. But even amongst the purists, few will deny that spanking does have an erotic element to it. This erotic side may be completely blanked out during an unpleasant, but necessary punishment. But even with a punishment spanking which is not sexual in nature, many people report feeling more attracted to their spouse in the hours after the punishment. Even a non-fun punishment spanking can have long-term "fun" effects that encourage pleasure sharing during intimacy. Fun spanking, however, have no element of punishment to them. Any man with a healthy libido should enjoy the sight of his wife's body. Having your wife's naked or panty-covered bottom under your hand can indeed be arousing, and even more so when this tactile sensation is accompanied by the slapping sound of flesh on flesh, and the sight of skin beginning to glow.  Because spankings help to emphasize the marriage roles, they tend to encourage a greater sense of attraction between the husband and wife. A fun spanking can easily be incorporated as a form of foreplay which then leads to deeper levels of intimacy. A fun spanking can be as simple as a few swats on your wife's clothed behind as she washes the dishes (and you dry them, of course). It can be carefully planned and complemented by sensual lighting and special clothing choices. It can spontaneous - grab your wife as she emerges dripping wet from the shower, pull her over your knee, and add some rosiness to her wet bottom. The bottom line is that fun spankings are entirely enjoyable and are not meant to correct behavior. They should not induce excessive pain, but should be pleasurable for the wife and the husband. A husband should always ensure that the wife knows when a spanking is only for fun. It is important to make this clear at the outset so she can also enjoy the fun. If she is left wondering what she did wrong to earn a stinging, wet-bottom spanking, she might be entirely submissive but with her thoughts far from the intimate playtime that the husband envisaged."

"A husband may spank his wife for reasons only they as a couple will comprehend. Domestic discipline is a very personal choice for a couple. It takes courage to go against the norms of modern society, and do something that you believe will enhance your marriage. Domestic discipline can enrich a marriage, but not everyone will agree with that viewpoint. Whether a husband gives his wife a spanking as punishment, for tension-relief, to facilitate refocusing on the marriage roles, for maintenance purposes, or simply for fun, it should be remembered that the spanking is a form of two-way communication. The spanking is the husband's gift to the wife, and her gift to the husband, especially at times when words seem inadequate."


SOURCE:
http://oldfashionedmarriage.blogspot.de/2012/09/five-types-of-old-fashioned-marital.html?zx=697e8752c1e09fc3

Respect SIM in bird's eye perspective

Changing the perspective ...

SIM Central in autum colours

Tropical Paradise in the residential South

Islands and Linden Seawater

Relaxing Hangout at Isle of Sky Parcel

The D/s Academy buildings (Temple, Theatre, Pavillion, Shrine)

Master's Holding Space (a repost)

A repost of an article by "Master Obsidian", found on ...
http://houseobsidian.wordpress.com/articles-by-master-obsidian/masters-holding-space/

"Holding space for slaves.  What does this mean?  How can I as a Master hold space for my slave?  In the traditional sense, ‘Holding Space‘ for someone means staying engaged and present with them while they undergo a process of self-inquiry and discovery of truth.
I believe that it is both necessary and essential for Masters to learn to hold space for their slaves in such a way that the slave continues to grow, continues to evolve and maintains their enthusiasm and dedication. [...]

According to Peter Masters a Dominant is someone who seeks simply to take and use control over a submissive. A submissive seeks to give up control and be controlled by a Dominant. Control is the key – he also states in comparing M/s to D/s that a Dominant controlling a submissive is an exercise in want on the part of both parties, but in a M/s dynamic the control taken and used by the Master and also received and given by the slave are an exercise of NEED. On some level Masters need control, and slaves need to be controlled as well.  


I thought this was an interesting viewpoint, it did however bring me to another question which on the surface you might either think is obvious or assumed; what about the issue of personal pleasure and fulfillment with regard to the exercise of control taken and used on the part of the Master and received and/or given by the slave? Is it about sex, for instance? Certainly sex is one avenue to pleasure, and an important and essential one for many of us. WIITWD is full of sexual pathways to pleasure. But I’ve always felt that for me the exercise of taking and using control also gives me a tremendous sense of satisfaction internally – its difficult for me to describe that sense of satisfaction in any other way than to say it is also feeling of pleasure, or pleasurable in nature. Combine sexual pleasure to the pleasure of exercising control and Im in heaven basically – but I’ve always felt that sexual pleasure and the pleasure I get from exercising or taking control are two different things.

Obedience is the foundation of the Master/slave relationship. As I’ve heard others, most recently Master Skip say – deliberate disobedience will almost always irreparably shatter the relationship. The other side of this coin is that if the Master does not provide regular opportunities for the slave’s obedience, the relationship can suffer as well. As I’ve noted earlier, in my experience I find that the pleasure I receive from taking and using or exercising control in my relationships is fulfilling to me. My slave finds fulfillment in responding to the exercise of that control. So it follows that as the slave lives and operates in response to our Mastery, it is incumbent upon us as Masters to be vigilant concerning the timing and frequency used to provide opportunities for obedience. [...]" 

source:
http://houseobsidian.wordpress.com/articles-by-master-obsidian/masters-holding-space/

Indian Summer @ Respect

Leaves are floating
softly down;
Some are red and
some are brown.
The wind goes "swish"
through the air;
When you look back,
there are no leaves there.

(unknown author)

 

 

And what does it leave?

*swish swish*

Colourful marks.

:-)

Monday discussion - when its time to call it a day.... (by Julala)

Some of the hardest decisions for people can be when its time to call it a day....

.....especially when it comes to relationships.

Whether it be a marriage, a partner, a friend, a job, a place in the community, a power exchange, whatever.....how do we determine when its time to draw a line.....finish a chapter.....move on....call it a day?

Does it take courage to take that step, set the ball in motion to end something - especially when its been powerful, intense, emotional, comfortable, familiar.  Or would the courageous thing be to stay? is it the coward who walks away or the courageous one?  

And what of the D/s relationship?  some might say it is up to the Dominant to decide when time is up.....and what of internal enslavement?  will that make it impossible for a submissive/slave to determine when it is time to move on?

Please do bring your thoughts, your experiences and your questions to the discussion today (or just your ears).  Everyone welcome. Monday 23rd September (TODAY!) at 12pm SLT at the Temple of Discussion on Respect sim. Discussion is voice led but text also very welcome.

Monday discussion: The practicalities and pitfalls of going RL

Many people enter a SecondLife (or any other online) relationship with a view to either exploring a fantasy or expanding upon an inflexible life in the real world.  This can often be a person's first experience of experimenting and discovering D/s.

Some people keep SL and RL completely separate and are happy to do so.....but others...find their fantasy starts to seep into their real lives....takes hold of their real emotions....and starts to plant seeds of a real existence together.

Today's discussion is: The practicalities and pitfalls of going RL

Emoting your way through a scene can be a far cry from the reality of a face-to-face D/s or BDSM experience....but in what ways?  Some things might just slot into place whether online or offline but some just wont.  Some parts of your fantasy may just have to stay...as your fantasy....even when the relationship has arrived at your doorstep in the real world.  What if you find that some of those things you liked the thought of...you discover you really don't like in the flesh?  How will that effect the development of the relationship?

Many people make the transition from online to RL successfully and have long and fulfilling relationships together - while others try it multiple times and always seem to fall at the first hurdle.  What dictates whether it will work of if it won't?  Or is it just pot luck?

Some feel that their SL is their RL and do not see the difference.  Can it be so?

Please come share your experiences, questions and worries, about SL to RL transitions.  Or just come listen - that's cool too :o)

Everyone welcome.  Monday 16th September (TODAY!) at 12pm SLT at the Temple of Discussion on Respect sim. Discussion is voice led but text also very welcome.