Anything goes as long both are consenting? (by Mirjam)

Consent ...
a word so often mentioned in the BDSM scene(s), and indeed a very very important topic to wrap one's mind around. It is very necessary to do so if You look at things happening in the online and first life BDSM scene. Consent is not only and ethical, but also a legal principle. Disrespecting, or not caring for the matter of mutual consent could indeed bring people with one foot into jail. Not all people who endulge in BDSM activities might be aware of it. Especially in the online environment fantasies rock, mind and emotion begins to float easily and quickly, and reason and cautious and detailed processing of important issues might be thrown over board or vanish in unawareness.
Recently I - again - heard somebody say something like "Some people want to be abused, so abuse is not necessarily a bad thing. Abuse can be okay, as long as both consent to it."
What happens in my mind on reading such is ..

???

Does anything go, as long as both, Dominant and submissive, are consenting?

Is consent always easy?
Is any consenting statement given always "true consent"?

What about submissive in subspace state?
What about psychological issues?
What about the need to please a Dominant, or even codepedency?
What about fear to disappoint the Dominant, or the fear to be released?
...

And many more questions could be asked.

The National Coalition for Sexual Freedom has worked on a project called "Consent Counts" since a couple of years. Not only for ethical reasons, but also with  respect to legal implications and problems for BDSM folks it is very important for the members of the BDSM scene(s) in first life, and of course, also in the virtual reality, to really think the issue of consent through.

To inspire further thinking, i would like to present another excerpt of the NCSF's "Statement on Consent" to You, as released in February 2013 as one of the major outcomes of the "Consent Counts" project.
Quotes are taken from taken from: https://ncsfreedom.org/images/stories/pdfs/Consent%20Counts/CC_Docs_New_011513/ConsentStatement.pdf

"This Statement is being issued through NCSF’s “Consent Counts” project which seeks to decriminalize consensual BDSM which does not result in the infliction of serious bodily injury.This Statement is presented as a discussion of the ethical and legal concepts of consent that need to be considered in the practice of BDSM activities and in relationships based on BDSM activities. It reflects both the recent extensive study by NCSF of the state of the law in the U.S. and the results of NCSF’s Consent Counts Survey which received over 5,500 responses.

[...]

The concept of risk

Consent is agreement in advance to something that hasn’t happened yet. 
As a consequence, it is impossible to eliminate entirely the risk that the activity or relationship may turn out differently than everyone involved anticipated when consent was given. 
In this regard, BDSM is like many other activities —team sports, sky diving, rock climbing, etc. BDSM may also include sexual activity which can involve emotional,psychological and health risks, as is the case with any sexual activity.

Among the risks of BDSM activities there are: innocent mistakes, incidents of incapacity, bad intentions and repercussions from the current state of the law in regards to BDSM activity. 

Those risks may include:

The participants may not understand each other’s agreement. Or they may misunderstand the nature of the BDSM activities or scene. Or they may misunderstand the other person’s limits.

Even if the participants understand and agree on the nature of the BDSM activities or scene, they may not understand the extent to which those acts could result in physical injury.

Accidents can happen, causing unanticipated injury even in the most carefully conducted scene with the most skilled practitioners.

The physical or emotional intensity of a scene can result in the participants getting carried away, or being unable to revoke or modify consent.

Someone who claims to respect safewords and established limits may be lying in order to take  dvantage of someone else.

Someone who is in a scene to which they gave prior consent may deny that consent was given after the scene.

Even if consent was given, a court may refuse to accept it as a defense, either on the basis that serious injury was caused or because the judge or jury find the activity morally offensive.

In a D/s or M/s relationship, a court might conclude that the sub missive was “groomed” or brainwashed over an extended period of time to remove their ability to withdraw consent.

The fact that these risks exist, and that it may not be possible to entirely avoid them, does not alter either the ethical or legal responsibility to ensure to the maximum extent possible, that BDSM activities and relationships are consensual."

[...]

READ THE FULL STATEMENT ON CONSENT (7 pages worth the reading!) HERE:

https://ncsfreedom.org/images/stories/pdfs/Consent%20Counts/CC_Docs_New_011513/ConsentStatement.pdf