Perfection and Excellence - Where I am Led - Part 27 (by Julala)

Ah...perfection and excellence....my old friends....

Perfection and excellence...is it something we expect from ourselves?  Is it something we expect from others?  Is it something that we expect too much?

*Reader warning....this could get all philosophical, slushy and boring righteous....please forgive me if it comes across as arrogant...my intentions are perfect imperfect perfect imperfect um....good*

I perhaps should focus on "The perfect slave", "The perfect Dom/me", "The perfect D/s relationship" here in this post....and no doubt...those topics will indeed be the stand of focus on Monday in the discussion.  But here, today....I would like to just challenge you to give some thought to what perfection and excellence mean to you and how these [friends or enemies] have played a part in your life...and your relationships in general.  This may then (hopefully) help to shed light on our search for the "perfect D/s".

Perfection and excellence are old friends of mine....I have known them for years...my dear old Dad was rather responsible for that...and I do thank him for it....for without his encouragement and drive I would not be who I am today....but there were time in my life when I did not welcome it so readily and as I now look back upon my twenties and thirties...now...I can recognise both the beauty and the flaws that seeking perfection and excellence can bring.

For much of my life I was a perfectionist...."if you can't do it well...don't do it at all" was probably high in my list of mantras as I grew up.  I strove to be perfect in everything I did and everything I was.  However, one of the best lessons I ever learned and a turning point in my entire outlook on life.....was when I opened my eyes and accepted...that seeking perfection was not necessary....that I had already found perfection....it was all around me..and in me...and that perfection itself was made up of all the mistakes and imperfections that I and those around me had made.

I forget this at times...and always will...no doubt.

This is Kevin.  He has Cerebral Palsy.  He is indeed perfect.  Photographing this man was one of the most humbling experiences I have ever known and had a profound effect on me and my perception of perfection.

As a rather clever man once said "Everyone is a genius...but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree it will spend its entire life thinking its stupid".  

Those of you that are members of the over-thinkers club will no doubt also be members of the perfectionist club too (or at least have been a member at times).  We strive, we seek, we believe that only the best will do.  Anything less than 100% just isn't good enough.  We believe it to be a worthy pilgrimage....to seek perfection.  And it is...because it is not to say that seeking perfection is wrong...no...it is just an infinite path that you are likely never to reach the end of perhaps? 

For some...seeking perfection will bring pain, frustration, sadness and regret.  For some it will be their drive, their purpose,  the glue that holds them together.

How many of you have ever uttered the words to yourselves "I wasn't good enough", "I am not good enough", I won't be good enough"?  Many, I am sure.  Certainly I remember times in my life when I certainly have.   And how many of us have not believed when we were told that we were..in fact...good enough...or perfect?  The two often go hand-in-hand I think....striving for perfection and not believing when we find it.

How many times have you not done something...turned away a relationship or thrown away an opportunity because you didn't believe it (or you) were perfect enough?  Last week we discussed experience and many agreed that our finest lessons had come from a mistakes and failings.....so why then would we deny our own learning by turning away experiences because of our fear and so vivid avoidance of failure?

And what of those that believe they are perfect?  Those that "know" that they are good enough....believe that they are the best in everything they do....is this self-confidence?  is it enlightenment? or is it arrogance? even Narcissism?  *laughs* So then, are we saying:

"Know that you are perfect...but know that you are not perfect"

Perhaps recognising the perfections and imperfections in ourselves and others....has to be combined with humility, compassion, acceptance and forgiveness (we already did those discussions if you were there and remember).  

Please bring your perfect selves, Your perfect slaves and submissives, your perfect Dom/mes on Monday 22nd April to discuss Perfection and Excellence at The Temple of Discussion on Respect at 12pm SLT.

These Monday discussions are loosely using the service exploration workbook "Where I am Led" by Christina Parker as a point of reference. You do not need to have read or even seen the book to fully participate in the discussion.