Bridging the Gap.. SL to RL relationships (by Mysteri)

There has been so much talk about the idea of how relationships in Second life transition and become part of your real life that I thought giving some element of sanity to the subject might be a good way to start.

We all know that D/s as a whole generally is not a step by step guide to "how to's" or even "why's" when it comes to the participants involved, but become what WE want it to be for us and our needs. Because of that our transition from Second Life to Real life all deviates for our needs.

Long distance relationship are truly a thing that have become more common based on our consistent use of the Internet and the idea that we now no longer use bars, or social clubs to find those like minded individuals, but now we find it easier to bridge not only states, and provinces but you can completely escape the barrier of mountains, oceans, and in some cases language barriers in Second Life. Because of these options that are now open to explore for us curious souls, and even some of us who know what we want, we have been handed an amazing ability to interact in ways that we only dreamed of.

All of these have now continued to bring success stories that I love reading, but also find new and inventive ways of 'bridging' the gap for those of us who wish and seek to take our relationships just the next step further. I have had several long distance relationships in SecondLife, all of them based and otherwise geared toward the D/s lifestyle. Each of them have had their own limitations and because of that, I have learned what has worked for me and what hasn't.  More or less, I look for the qualities that might help me identify them as a good man in the real world based a lot on their actions in SL.

I look for the following qualities:

1. What type of time do they have and current responsibilities do they have to be able to spend the time needed on the relationship? Are they on alot? Do they have current SL responsibilities (jobs/other submissives/slaves etc)?
2. Do they currently have real life experience? This may take some time to get to know, even if you yourself have had real life experience. Just reading books for a newcomer to the lifestyle will not provide them with the answers other than ones we have heard a million times. Ultimately, terminology, passion in their answers and their ability to back up their words is what I look for,
3. What type of communication do they have with you? Is it just SL or do they give you the ability to contact them out of world as well and respond when you need that extra 'touch'?
4. Are their RL goals for a relationship the same as yours? For instance, if you seek to meet in real time, are they able to as well or are they just wishing to have an SL relationship?  In my opinion, this is a crucial question because if you don't have the same goals, then it's kind of a mute point.

I am still astounded at the things that I get to explore with my current partner, and you rarely will see me without him, but it has not been without a life of hard knocks and relatively difficult times and heart breaks.  I can't say that I have not left prior relationships completely in tact, but I did leave them knowing what fits my needs. For anyone who knows me, they also know that I don't turn off the feelings either. Just remember, to be 'released' or 'release' someone it puts you in a transitional state of vulnerability and finding someone to talk to and lean on is such a crucial thing for all of us, Dominate and submissive alike.