Mastery
How can you control your life without Mastering it?
Having established a question mark over my understanding of how Suby or Domy I am, I come to review Masters and Slaves.
I'm quite partial to the idea of control, yet have had a love/hate relationship with Mastery.
It all started when I was growing up (as these things so often tend to do)
My father appeared to get what he wanted, irrespective of whether other people wanted him to have it, or not. I viewed him as successful, but it bothered me that his success was achieved at other peoples expense. In fact, I came to realize, as I grew up, that there were a lot of broken people - some very badly hurt in fact - by his actions. By that point I'd left home, met the love of my life and married her.
In this new family was another uber successful male. He too got what he wanted, irrespective of other peoples feelings. Although he was more secretive I discovered the terribly broken people in his wake, and came to be weary of this capacity to put people down, such that he appeared superior.
Again I recoiled. Another Master who had the ego the size of a planet. A Master, who when challenged, even on the smallest, most inconsequential matter, would view the winning of the encounter as matter of honor. They could certainly argue a point, but be proved wrong? Never!
I looked for other role-models. I found other 'leaders' & 'Managers' but these people put out an air of confidence, of certainty, yet hid their insecurities, their doubts. And regrets? These leaders would undertake 'U turns' because something else had changed, not because they were wrong! Not because they had just made the wrong assumption.
Masters? Leaders? Bah! They were all terribly flawed. The idea that this is what one had to be to gain control abhorred me.
Yet there was just a little a way to influence these Masters: Assume a submissive role, keep your agenda hidden well enough, dress it up as something else. It was was possible to co-exist with these characters - no need to fight (for surely you would lose), and eek out a small place for yourself.
So if Mastery was not the path to control... what was? Manipulation?
I was still struggling with a successful model of control when I came to SL and was introduced to the concept of Masters and Slaves.
I recoiled from the damage that was taking place - the whole scale carnage! Not only was SL full of Masters "Kneel at my Feet SLAVE, for I am a Master and I am always right"
But, *shock horror* it was filled with Slaves who sought this abdication of personal responsibility for their own growth and happiness.
I'd never met anyone who knew the right answer to everything, and yet people were throwing themselves at the feet of people who 'claimed' this certainty. These 'slaves' offered to serve their Masters. To dedicate their entire beings to ensure their happiness.
And you know, I've got unhappiness in my life. I like to have fun, but can't always have it. So the idea of having a Slave that would pleasure me, serve me and attend to me, was incredibly attractive. And all they required in return was me STATING I was right. That I knew it all.
This was appealing. But how could I get this without being a Master? Masters - these abhorrent tricksters and cheats, deeply at odds with trust and truth.
I then found slave after slave with whom I found nothing but limitless love, deep trust, total transparency. If these slaves were true. What manner of Master was their counter-balance?
There must exist a Master who nurtured and cared, shared, admitted they were wrong. Who loved the other without the need to be loved more in return.
And was this who I wanted to be?
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